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For an unknown reason, I am in the state of euphoria since this morning even though I lack sleep.  I only slept three hours.  Normally, I would get grumpy when I don't have enough rest and sleep.  But today is different.  Suddenly I feel so positive about things. I am so light-hearted.  It is as if nothing could spoil my day.  Not even the unpredictable weather, the martial law and the depressing news. I hope this feeling will bring me good luck for days to come.

In the middle of this euphoria, I am telling myself when will it end?  I am scared of too much happiness.  I don't know why do I feel this way.  It sounds crazy.  All human being wants happiness.  When I am very happy I try to control it because I feel something bad will happen after that.  

It started when I was in elementary.  My classmates were playing while I on the other hand  would just sit down in a corner trying not to make myself happy because  if I do, the  moment I got home, for sure I would hear bad news or my mother or my father would scold me.  Well, scolding for me is a very bad news.

I know it's not a good way of thinking.  It has no basis at all.  This fear just sprang up from my innocent young mind.  And sadly up to now, I can't still get over it.